Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year! 28 weeks, 6 days.

Don't worry!  I don't make resolutions anymore, so there will be no false promises of me being a better blogger....I think that we all have given up on that a long time ago!

Well, looking back to October (I am so sorry), it looks like I left you hanging with my amnio procedure.  Well, no news is good news!  The results came back absolutely normal and also confirmed that the little one is in fact a GIRL! :) 

Beyond that, this has been a fairly uneventful pregnancy.  Seriously, we are 28 weeks 6 days today and I feel great!

I was inspired to take a course to become a doula and met some very amazing and wonderful women in the process.  It was almost embarrassing at times though.  The love and positive energy of them all in the same room sometimes rendered me speechless and little on the emotional side.  I don't know that I have ever been as weepy in a positive sense as I was during those classes.  Granted, I am on the hormonal rollercoaster ride of pregnancy, but those who know me understand that I tend to tear up when I see happy lovey dovey sappy wonderful things in progress even when I am not pregnant.  I can't wait to see them at our next monthly meeting!

I am now a doula who is in the process of being certified through DONA and I am so excited about it!!!  Now I need to figure out how to go about getting clients.  I am not very good at propositioning people and most of the time, I assume that I am a nuisance (blame the GAD).  I know that I am and will be a fantastic doula, I just need to figure out how to put myself out there!  Right now I am looking for clients to offer my services for free with a quick questionnaire on how I did, I just need to find some mama's who would like a doula present for their baby's birth!  (let me know if you know anyone!) :) 

I am also very excited to have my own wonderful amazing doula!  She is the owner and Doula Workshop trainer at Mother Tree and besides my best gal, I wouldn't want anyone else there (besides mama and daddy of course).

I want to share the words I wrote for my fellow doula loves for our closing ceremony (before this note paper disappears into the chaos of life)...

She is still, the ocean, as I wait in anticipation of the turmoil of pain, pleasure, and joy that she will undoubtedly bring.

As she begins to move, I am filled with excitement, anxiety, and love.  She tickles my toes as the water teases me with what is to come.  I want to run from her, I want to hide from her.  I can only wait.

Her waters rise as she becomes stronger.  Her waves begin to take over my body.  My brain fights to stay in control.  I am not in control. 

I release my body to her.  She envelopes my body as she works towards our ultimate goal.  We become one as I work with her because to try and stop her is in vain and will only cause tortuous pain. 

My mind weaves in and out of the reality of the moment.  I can breathe, no I can't.

"You can", she tells me, so we dance together as her waves rhythmically pull me in and out of myself.

There is a light.  There is a beacon that reminds me that I am not far from home in the journey.  I dance, I sing, I moan.

Her hug is crushing, like it is composed of the waves of one thousand years.  I feel her pressure, full of love and guidance.  The light says it's time.

I let go, yet I don't.

I am one with her. I am her.  Together we push forth, over and over.  We are now working for the light, together in the ancient cosmic dance of all who bore before us.

We inhale the fresh air that we have been given and we release the light.

Her waves release, she shudders and we separate.  She is done.  She has shed the light of love.

I thank her.

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