It's a digital world!

Good afternoon guys and dolls!  Tomorrow is my BETA! That is where they measure the amount of hCG in your blood!  I am super excited and I will update you on what that lucky number is when I get the results!

As for today (8dp5dt) I can share with you another exciting home pregnancy test!  This one was the one holding me back and making me nervous....the digital.

I thought I was done taking tests and was going to wait until the BETA, however my friend Tiffany demanded a digital and my IM seemed to be extremely nervous.  So I didn't pee from 10:15am until I got home from work at 12:30ish pm today.  I picked up a pack of two digital tests on my way home and took one as soon as I got home...it was negative. :(

I was kinda bummed/worried.

I wasn't sure if I was going to take the second test today or in the morning.  I wanted my urine to be as concentrated as possible (lovely right?)

I realized, however, that I tend to drink more water in the AM than I do in the PM.  It was easier to not have to pee....So I was able to wait...and wait...and wait....and then at 4:00pm, I took the last and final test [I swear I wouldn't buy more (I can hear my surro sisters laughing at me now)].

Here it is...the wonderful and beautiful word without the ugly "NOT" before it!!!!

AHHHH!!!  I'm so very excited!!! :)

Love to you all!

A LONG LONG time coming!!!

I'm not going to start with an apology about how long it has been since I have updated you regarding my surrogacy journey.  We spent these many months in limbo, not knowing what the next step would be and writing about nothing seemed mute and depressing.

On to today, the now, the lately!

M & M decided to give an embryo donor a try since they no longer had any frozen embryo's and the odds of a successful transfer using an embryo donor were greater than if they did.

The donor's eggs were retrieved on Tuesday June 26th and 9 of them fertilized with M (IF)'s sperm!! What a great number!!

On Sunday July 1st this little beauty, who I have dubbed M & M Mini, was transferred into my uterus:

 This is an artistic version I made for my IP's! :)

As the worst kind of POAS addict, I started peeing on HPT's at 3dp5dt...I thought I had a very faint line, however I wasn't convinced that what I was seeing was a positive or the control line...So I kept peeing....

The following 3 photos are at 4dp5dt....with a trained surro eye...you can see very faint lines....the third photo was taken in the evening, so 4.5dp5dt....You can see the line easier in that one.

4dp5dt

4dp5dt

4.5dp5dt

5dp5dt was not a very exciting day....The lines didn't seem to get darker and I was worried that was a bad sign...I had also used up 5 digital tests that all said "NOT PREGNANT" which is quite depressing....Stupid digitals!  So I didn't  take any pictures and may have pouted a little. :)

Now on to this morning...after peeing on the last test I had at 4am, which was a negative digital, I decided that I would just wait until my BETA test on Tuesday.  However, being the addict that I am, I got up out of bed, got dressed, held my pee, and went to the store to buy more tests.  I know...I have issues....

I got home and took the test (First Response Early Results)....and within less than a minute, this is what I got...

6dp5dt

I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 1.5 years on this journey with my IP's, two failed cycles, one incomplete cycle because of the embryo falling apart, I'm PREGNANT!!!

Of course the numbers of the BETA(s) will be the tell all...and then the first ultrasound, but the magic HPT stick says M & M Mini is here to stay!!!  WHOOO HOOO!!

That's it for now!  I will try to keep this darn thing updated!

Love you all!

Eh...

So...yeah...it's been more than a while since I have updated my blog and I am sorry to those of you who care.

My last cycle was a bust.  I went  through all the motions all the way up to the point where I was laying on the table ready for the transfer...The embryologist came in just as the Dr. said we were ready (legs up and everything) and told us that the embryo had died.  It was insanely sad.

This mixed with the fact that I was laid off in September, have an uncle (successfully) battling cancer, and missing my family during the holidays has kept me pretty quiet and hermit like.  I've been quite lonely as Jesse works nights and seems to sleep all day.  I know I have the girls, but adult conversation, for me, is needed.  I have been lucky to have two great friends who visit me on occasion and I thank God for them because they keep me sane! ;) Lack of money has kept me pretty tied to the house as it is, so going "out" hasn't really been in the cards, so the company is nice and I love them for it!

On the surrogacy front, I should know more soon.  My IP's are finding an embryo donor and plan on moving forward with me as their carrier.  I will update when I know more.

Love and blessings!

Blank.

No, of course the blog isn't blank...it might not say much, but it's not blank...That is all that came to my mind when thinking of a title.  :)

So, I started the bcp's today but I still haven't gotten a calendar.  I really want to express my frustrations with the new nurse working with us...but I won't...mainly because she is new....and it will just get me irritated and I need to be beyond that! 

Since she hasn't gotten my calendar ready, that I was supposed to have last week or the week before even, I have taken it upon myself to make an attempt at calculating the injection start date, the transfer date, and the due date....I may not be spot on, but I know I am pretty close.  I am guessing the injections will start around 8/13, the transfer will be around 10/18, and the due date should be around 7/3.  :)  Of course these are my guesses...I will let you know soon if I am right...on any account!  :)  LOVES!

OH! Please pray for my surro-sister Tiffany whose mother is in the hospital on a ventilator. Please pray that God guide the hands and minds of the doctors to heal her in the manner that He wills. Also please ask that God wrap his arms around Tiffany, her father, brother, family and friends and offer them peace and comfort in such a time. Amen.

Whoo Hoo! (Updated) (Updated again)

I will be starting birth control pills on the 31st!  (the witch showed up this morning..so I will probably be starting the birth control on Saturday!!!!) (Sticking with the original plan...starting on the 31st!) That's the initiation of the 3rd round! Prayers for a great and successful cycle are appreciated beyond comprehension! 

I really do stink at this blogging thing, and I am so sorry....However, my life has been a series of hills to climb then roll down in a child like fashion...and since the hills are generally small, they keep coming....and I keep climbing and rolling!  :) 

I will update more later, but it's a little past 8:00 am and I have to get to work!  Love and blessings in mass quantities! 

On the Road Again!

I received confirmation and a super sweet email last week from my IP's that we are going another round!  The details are still null, but at least the gears have started to move in some fashion.  :)

I am very excited to be able to give this another shot. Third times a charm, right?  I will just need all of your prayers and positive loving energy along the way, if you don't mind!  I love you lots!  Blessings and love!

Crystal

Uppitydate....

I’m not even going to begin this with my usual life got busy so I didn’t blog excuse.  I don’t have much to say in regards to the surrogacy process, as there have been no decisions made one way or another.  We are still at a standstill….I think more like ½ a block away from the crossroads than at them. 

In my life I’ve been dealing with a bought of depression.  With this failed IVF, the loneliness that has come with working separate shifts than Jesse, and the loss of a friend my guard was down and I allowed myself to be enveloped in deep sadness.  It’s been a long couple of months, but I am slowly but surely making my way through the murkiness and into the bright sunshine filled world that I am blessed to be a part of.  I’ve made two very amazing friends who have helped with the loneliness….Jen, one of my new best friends is by far one of the most compassionate people I have ever known and I am so blessed that she was introduced to me by the grace of God.  She has helped me more than anyone could ever know and I didn’t even ask for it, for that I am eternally grateful.  The other, Katie, is super amazing and I have known her for years, but we never had the chance to hang out…except when I would drop Sydney off at school……Now she lives down the road….She’s an amazing friend too…super sweet, an insane artist (seriously her art is that good), she’s a professional DJ (however not currently doing that work) and a teacher…and she is so easy to talk to. 

I also have been graced with the presence of my best friend Jasmine and my niece Sophia as they came into town for our friend Sheena's wedding (which was awesome!)....

So, I'm slowly coming out of my funk....slowly.....  I just know everything works out....it always does.  :)

My kids are doing great!  Here are a couple of pics… and my new siggy that I made for my allaboutsurrogacy.com profile.  J 

Hope this finds you well!!

I took all of the pictures (even the background of the siggy) myself!  :)  Edited the ones of the girls...yay!