A baby is born (two months ago)!

Hi there loves.  I am sorry that this particular update is just now being made.  It has taken me quite a while to process stuff and therefore, I have been fairly quiet on details...and I am sorry if you feel like I left you out of my loop...but it is mine after all and I am just now feeling like sharing it.

On March 18, 2013 at 7:31AM at 8lbs. 14 oz, 21.5 inches I gave birth to my IP's daughter (Baby J).

At some point, she had inhaled meconium, which is the very first bowel movement a baby has.  She wasn't breathing and had to be resuscitated, and the lower portion of her lungs collapsed.

She was transferred to another hospital that had a NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). 

Her lungs had healed and everything looked great, except she wasn't eating on her own.   After two weeks on no improvement, they moved her to a different floor NICU where a new doctor observed her.  This doctor suggested that the baby might have brain damage because she should have shown improvement by then, and she also had lower muscle tone than they would have liked to see.

They did an MRI and found that sweet Baby J does have brain damage. 

They placed a G-tube (feeding tube) so she could go home with her parents.  I send breast milk to her every Thursday and keep in touch with her Mama and Papa. 

It has been determined that she can hear, see, and her muscle tone is getting better.  Yesterday she drank 20.5 oz from a bottle, which is AMAZING!  She is starting to smile and to mimic facial expressions...all of these things were things that we didn't know if she would be able to do..and she is doing them!!!!

No one, even now, knows how the brain damage will affect her life.  The hope is that her brain will make new connections, as our amazing brains are capable of doing...and that is obviously happening!!!   All in all, in my opinion, she is doing great and making HUGE progress and I can guarantee you that has so much to do with the LOVE & ENCOURAGEMENT coming from her amazing family! 

I know she is going to rock this thing called life.

I will post a birth story soon.  Thank you for your love!

Almost to the Most Beautiful Finish Line

Things have been great!  We are 37 weeks 3 days pregnant with a very loved little girl whose parents cannot wait to meet her! 

At 34 weeks we had our follow up appointment with the neonatologist to check on her kidneys.  One is perfect and the other is slightly enlarged.  They are not truly concerned and think it's probably a normal variant for her.  Because of this though, I have been getting Non Stress Tests weekly...which have all been great.  They also said that she is a big baby, around 6 lbs. 10 oz., and at the time she was breech.

I am not concerned with her size because I know that my body is beyond capable of birthing her, but I did address the breech issue with inversion, pelvic raises, acupuncture and moxibustion every night.  I am happy to announce that she turned and that is no longer a concern. :)

I am feeling pretty good..I have horrible carpal tunnel and edema (not related to preeclampsia), so my hands are numb and my legs are insanely fat from swelling!  I have also started having more regular contractions and am guessing that she will make her grand entrance by next week (sometime this weekend)...so here is what I think will be the last picture of her in my tummy.  :)


Thanks for following along!  Lots of love and blessings!!!!

Happy New Year! 28 weeks, 6 days.

Don't worry!  I don't make resolutions anymore, so there will be no false promises of me being a better blogger....I think that we all have given up on that a long time ago!

Well, looking back to October (I am so sorry), it looks like I left you hanging with my amnio procedure.  Well, no news is good news!  The results came back absolutely normal and also confirmed that the little one is in fact a GIRL! :) 

Beyond that, this has been a fairly uneventful pregnancy.  Seriously, we are 28 weeks 6 days today and I feel great!

I was inspired to take a course to become a doula and met some very amazing and wonderful women in the process.  It was almost embarrassing at times though.  The love and positive energy of them all in the same room sometimes rendered me speechless and little on the emotional side.  I don't know that I have ever been as weepy in a positive sense as I was during those classes.  Granted, I am on the hormonal rollercoaster ride of pregnancy, but those who know me understand that I tend to tear up when I see happy lovey dovey sappy wonderful things in progress even when I am not pregnant.  I can't wait to see them at our next monthly meeting!

I am now a doula who is in the process of being certified through DONA and I am so excited about it!!!  Now I need to figure out how to go about getting clients.  I am not very good at propositioning people and most of the time, I assume that I am a nuisance (blame the GAD).  I know that I am and will be a fantastic doula, I just need to figure out how to put myself out there!  Right now I am looking for clients to offer my services for free with a quick questionnaire on how I did, I just need to find some mama's who would like a doula present for their baby's birth!  (let me know if you know anyone!) :) 

I am also very excited to have my own wonderful amazing doula!  She is the owner and Doula Workshop trainer at Mother Tree and besides my best gal, I wouldn't want anyone else there (besides mama and daddy of course).

I want to share the words I wrote for my fellow doula loves for our closing ceremony (before this note paper disappears into the chaos of life)...

She is still, the ocean, as I wait in anticipation of the turmoil of pain, pleasure, and joy that she will undoubtedly bring.

As she begins to move, I am filled with excitement, anxiety, and love.  She tickles my toes as the water teases me with what is to come.  I want to run from her, I want to hide from her.  I can only wait.

Her waters rise as she becomes stronger.  Her waves begin to take over my body.  My brain fights to stay in control.  I am not in control. 

I release my body to her.  She envelopes my body as she works towards our ultimate goal.  We become one as I work with her because to try and stop her is in vain and will only cause tortuous pain. 

My mind weaves in and out of the reality of the moment.  I can breathe, no I can't.

"You can", she tells me, so we dance together as her waves rhythmically pull me in and out of myself.

There is a light.  There is a beacon that reminds me that I am not far from home in the journey.  I dance, I sing, I moan.

Her hug is crushing, like it is composed of the waves of one thousand years.  I feel her pressure, full of love and guidance.  The light says it's time.

I let go, yet I don't.

I am one with her. I am her.  Together we push forth, over and over.  We are now working for the light, together in the ancient cosmic dance of all who bore before us.

We inhale the fresh air that we have been given and we release the light.

Her waves release, she shudders and we separate.  She is done.  She has shed the light of love.

I thank her.

Another Late as Usual Update....

Good Morning, Afternoon, or Evening you lovely being you!  :)

Last Friday was the big AMNIO day!!  Eek!  It really had snuck up on me, so I didn't have any anxiety about it, which was wonderful!  

I left work at 11:15pm and then picked up Momma Bear (IM).  We had gluten-free pizza from Pizza Shmizza, which was outstanding, for lunch. Then we went to the appointment!

We started out by finishing the anatomy scan and confirmed once again that the baby is indeed a she! :)  Her kidney's were on the boarder of being too big which could indicate down's or possible kidney disease...but one was just under the limit and one was barely over.  I am certain that everything is wonderfully fine though. The test results will tell us if it's genetic and we have another ultrasound set for my 32nd week of pregnancy. HAPPY THOUGHTS ONLY sweet people! :0)

Isn't that the sweetest profile! :)

Next they completed the amnio...The only thing I can compare it to is an extremely bad cramp.  I found it interesting that I could feel needle pass through the different layers.  I am very in tune with my body so I think that may be why I was so aware of where the needle was passing.  I found it intriguing.  

I was very grateful when they pulled the catheter out. :)

Amniocentesis Procedure

After the procedure was done I tried to drive my car but I was still crampy/ pinchy...I know those are not words but the feeling is difficult to explain.  Regardless, I did not feel like driving, so IM drove.  She dropped me off at the Hotel Monaco here in Portland where I was to order room service, movies, and relax!  So, I did!  The prices were insane and it was like a whole different world.  I felt so guilty for ordering anything but I did it anyway because I had to eat and boy was it good!  

The room was huge (around 500ft) and I loved the decor!!!  Here it is!

This is the "living room" area.  The bathroom is beyond those doors to the left and was HUGE!  I just didn't see the appeal of taking a picture of the bathroom.

This is the right side of the bedroom...yes that is another tv...two tv...good grief!

This is the left side of the bedroom and the ridiculously comfortable king size bed.

This is the view from the entrance...the bathroom is to the right..through the first doorway is the living room and then past that is the bedroom.

My good friend Wendy came later to spend the night with me...I didn't want to be alone all night!  It was a whole lot of fun! It felt like a middle school sleepover...we talked ourselves to sleep!!! Of course before we did that, we had this amazing S'mores dessert....holy mackerel it was so good!!!

This.

So, that was the amnio experience...I was spoiled not scarred...I did feel so guilty for the cost that I offered my IM that I would pay half of the tab but she said I was being silly and that she was glad I got to relax! :)  I really did feel like a princess!!!  

As always, I love you!

It's a GIRL! and a No Go on the Amnio!

So we found out that M & M are having a girl and I must say I told you so!  :)

We also found out that I have an anterior placenta, which means the placenta is in the front.  We could not find a good spot for the amnio to occur without the needle passing through the placenta, so we rescheduled for Friday Oct. 12th.

I'm going to go hang out with my kiddos now, but I figured I would send a quick update to all of you lovelies first before I got too distracted! :)

Loves!

The Un-Candy Coated Happenings....

So, I updated you last week on what an awesome ultrasound we had, along with our wonderful first OB appointment...But I may have been a little vague on current events.  This is due to my idea that having a positive outlook and thought process, every thing will always work out and be okay.  However, I feel dishonest and that is not a feeling that I am fond of.  So with that said, I am going to tell you how I have "really" been and ask that you look at the situation in a positive manner and send nothing but good prayers full of positive love and energy when you are through.

This may be TMI to those with a weak constitution, but it's not too horrible.

The Friday before this past I had a migraine that lasted until after I fell asleep on Saturday night.  I don't know that this has any merit with what happened on Sunday night/Monday morning, but it happened.  On Sunday I felt so much better and cleaned my kitchen (thoroughly).  It was a great day until later that evening when I went to the bathroom and noticed blood (brown old blood) when I wiped.  I immediately laid myself down and decided to take it easy.  I drank a ton of water on top of that.  Later on there was no blood, thank God.

On Monday morning I got dressed and went to work, where upon going to the restroom I noticed more brown blood in my chonies.  At this point, I began to worry a little and called the advice nurse at my OB/GYN office.  The nurse said that she would have the doctor call me back and that they would probably just give me instructions over the phone.  So, I finished a fairly easy day at work and left for home.

After about 10 minutes of being home, I received the phone call from the advice nurse.  They wanted me to come in for a fetal heart beat check.  This was at 12:45 PM.  She said the earliest they could see me was at 1:00 PM.  Thankful that their office is only two exits off of 205 from my house, I said that I would be there.

The nurse that took me back to do the check was really sweet.  At first what I heard was slow and labored and I began to worry.  It wasn't the normal whew, whew, whew that I was used to hearing.  I said something to the nurse and she said that it was the placenta.  That was working, I sighed...But I still couldn't hear the baby.

The nurse kept moving the doppler around and stopping and then looking at her watch.  I asked her if everything was okay and she said that the baby was just moving and she couldn't get the rate.  I guided her to where I had seen the baby "hanging" out in the ultrasound and we were able to very briefly catch the baby's heartbeat, which was very strong.  I guess she/he is a little mover, but thank God once again that we heard that little heartbeat.

The nurse sent me home with a "threatened miscarriage" information sheet with her own notes saying that I should be reassured that we heard the heartbeat.  I was reassured until I received that damn information sheet with such a negative term in bold typing.

I decided that I needed to be positive and prayed a lot to God that the blood would stop and that pregnancy would continue to be viable and the baby would thrive.

There was no bleeding after that, but I did check my cervix and it was very short, soft and slightly open.  I have been on modified bed rest since then...So it's work, then home where I am laying down for the most part.  On Thursday I did another check of my cervix, even though I was apprehensive in doing so because I was afraid of what I would discover, but to my great pleasure and pure gratefulness, it was closed, hard, and longer than it had been earlier in the week.

Friday went without a hitch.  Saturday I went to my 3 year old's gymnastics where I sat in a chair and watched the cuteness before me.  After that I went to my 11 year old's first soccer game of the season where stood and watched an awesome match.  Later that night, last night, I got a horrible, borderline migraine, headache.  I chugged tons of water and laid down at 7:30 PM for an early bedtime.

My headache was gone this morning, thankfully.  I did a cervix check.  It was shorter and softer than on Thursday but not as bad as it was at the beginning of last week.  Back to doing nothing but work and bed rest for me.  I will not take any chances with this pregnancy, but I am assured and faithful that it will all be okay and that I may be over analyzing the feel of my cervix because I am paranoid.

So, my friends, I ask that you help stay positive for me.  Think nothing of good thoughts and how happy and beautiful it will be when this baby's Mommy and Daddy hold her/him for the first time.  It is all going to be okay and I am happy that I can be honest with you, even if opening up took me a little bit of processing.  You are all beautiful and I am grateful to share my story with you.

As always, I love you.

and the worst blogger of the century award goes to......

Oh gee..what has or hasn't happened in the last few to many weeks?

I guess most importantly, I am still pregnant!  12 weeks 5 days to be exact!  We actually had our last appointment at the fertility clinic and were released to our OB, who we saw the same day!  Oh!  And I am no longer shooting my bum with hormones as my body has taken over that job!  Yay my body!

This is the little (I'm saying girl) one hanging out upside down at 10 weeks 5 days with a strong 175 bpm heart rate:

We are scheduled for an amniocentesis on October 5th and I promise to try and get pictures of the procedure! 

This is a shirt that I ordered for the little one...It is supposed to be turquoise, but the picture looks awfully blue to me!  It says, "Made with Love (and science)".  Perfect, right?!?

Now that I have given you the hip hops and hoorays, I hope you can forgive me for the lagging on writing.  It has been hard to find time because someone else seems to always be on the computer or I am busy with my kiddos...At this point I won't even promise to write more, I will just say that I will do my best to keep you updated.  :)